we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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