i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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