Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
