my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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