It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
