I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
