...so i touched it.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
