you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
