first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
