if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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