I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
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