he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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