Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
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