so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
