I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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