At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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