we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize
