It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I smell like Dick and happiness
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
