I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
