who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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