I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
