When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
