so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
