good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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