its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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