I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
