I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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