I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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