brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
