Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
