Sponge bath it is.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
