he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
