I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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