you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
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