The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Randomize
