Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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