Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
The power of my boobs compel you
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
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