the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
