just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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