Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
No subtext here. People are naked.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
