I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Your tits are I can't wait for
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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