Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
That's intense
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
It's like God shit irony all over that family
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
