Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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