Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
