whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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