My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
