She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
