You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
