we're chasing vodka with high fives
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
