You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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